Worried About Too Many Advisors
What am I to do about too many advisors? I began preparing for the 2-minute pitch of my memoir 60 days in advance, an average of 1 day for every 3 seconds.
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Name Dyslexia
Given my name dyslexia, every time I go outside, I have to rehearse all four names beforehand in case I run into any of them.
LIVING IN CHINA: HIBISCUS BULBS, ALAN DERSHOWITZ, AND PEAS
In 1980, while living in China, I insisted on speaking Mandarin when planning a dinner for Alan Dershowitz and other Harvard professors. Oops.
Antidote to Worry: Easy Dinners of Adobo Chicken (and Sharing)
As easy dinners go, this is the easiest. All you need is 4 ingredients.
Worried About Outliving Friends, My Junior High School Boyfriend and Not-so-Subtle Self-Promotion
All this fed into my recurring imaginings of how to celebrate my death, and whether to do so after or before it occurs . . .
Cute Guy in Van: A Washington Story
A Washington Story: What if he’s a terrorist? He’ll know where I live. Better to remain inconspicuous.
I’m Fine! . . . What, not Great?
I can’t remember why I was only fine, rather than the usual great, but this makes an important point:
On Noise and Amtrak’s Quiet Car
I am a fan of Amtrak’s quiet car, yet I harbor love-hate emotions toward the sub-culture of those who journey in this vessel of alleged silence.
Three Questions
Why do we type
The addressee’s address
Above the salutation?
Does he or she
Need this information?
Dog Shaming
I got into our new box of SOS and shredded the pads and discovered how good the soap tasted. When Mommy came in and shrieked and I ran away. She scolded me. I pretended to be ashamed.
Worried About Emily’s Shoes
Like a bicycle tire that has just rolled over a shard of glass, the air began seeping out of my buoyant mood.
Haircut Headaches
A 9th-grade philosopher—my boyfriend George—once said, “When you get a haircut, you never look better. At best, you don’t look worse.”
Secrets, Meddling, and Regrets
I regret not only some of my meddling on my children’s behalf, but also having kept a secret.
Saying What You Mean, Especially About Splitting the Bill
This story about saying what you mean when it comes time to paying or splitting the bill makes me sad.
What Does Heaven Look Like and How Will I Find My Peeps?
If there’s a heaven,
Will they offer me a key,
Given how mean I was to Barbara Satinsky?
Will Barbara Satinsky forgive and invite me to tea?
I’m Sorry, Barbara Satinsky
I’m sorry, Barbara Satinsky. In 5th grade I had no reason to be a bully. In addition to being one of the leaders of Harum Scarum, the cliquey girls’ handball club, I had kind parents and good friends. So why did I take pleasure in playing a cruel trick on Barbara …
Sandusky and A Primer on Jewish Names
We already have Madoff, as well as Gingrich’s billionaire SuperPacSuperMacher Sheldon Adelson, so I’m glad that, even though Sandusky sounds like a Jewish name, he is not one of ours. Sandusky’s name is misleading, because the “sky” at the end could be construed as belonging to our tribe. But is …
Grateful for Gradual
Honestly, I don’t know what I would do without gradual. When my firstborn was an infant, I tried to imagine how I would ever entrust her to a kindergarten teacher.
10 Tips for Getting Rid of Telemarketers: Confessions of a Telemarketer
Confession: I was a telemarketer. In 1976—when I became a stockbroker at Merrill Lynch—I had never heard the word telemarketing; we called it cold calling.
Cognitive Therapy: Lessons Learned
At Alcatraz, a former prisoner spoke. He said those who obsessed about getting out “didn’t make it.” Cognitive Therapy would have helped.
Two Shrinks: Psychiatrist and Cognitive Therapist
He is always on time.
She is sometimes late.
He ends the session after exactly 45 minutes.
She ends the session when we are finished talking,
Connecting With Friends
I am not part of the walk-and-text culture. I’m barely part of the text culture. But as a writer, who lives alone, my laptop has become one of my best friends.
Dear Susan: I’m a Procrastinator
Dear Susan, I should be working now but instead I’m writing to you. You see, I’m a procrastinator. Please help me stop putting things off! Signed, Puttingthingsoff in Peoria Dear PiP, I’m so glad you asked. I am great at procrastination. Here is one thing I do to procrastinate: I …
Dear Susan from Worried in Wisconsin
Worry is addictive, plain and simple. It hits the same pleasure center of the brain as alcohol and other addictive substances. If you are able to control your intake of other addictive substances, then you can control worry, now that you know how addictive it is.
Worrywart Logic
I was happy that my mind was still logical enough
Writing-a-Book Worries
I’ll give you a moment to digest what it is like for a worrywart to write a book. Try to imagine all there is to worry about.
TIPS DAY: MOMENT OF WORRY
Recently I wrote a piece called Easy Meditation, in which I shared a method I heard about on NPR. On that NPR segment, the author talked about allowing thoughts to pass through your mind like clouds.
DIZZY: LIVING WITH MY BOYFRIEND, CIRCA 1967
My starter husband Saul and I began dating the week before I entered college; we married after my sophomore year and divorced during my junior year. I emerged from the husband, the garden apartment and the Impala sedan squinting from the sudden brightness of university life. At age twenty, for the …
THE NAME GAME: HOW DO I SIGN AN EMAIL? SUSAN? SUSIE? SOOZE? SUE? S? s?
Public Service Announcement: Help my article “Dear Customer Service: Thoughts While on Hold” go viral, so companies get the message! Please tweet, comment on it, share! Up until I first got my period, I was Susie. In high school, I was Sue. After reinventing myself in college, I became Susan. …
ANTIDOTE TO WORRY: POPCORN
Popcorn is one of my favorite comfort foods. It fills me up, is healthful, tastes delicious and I pretend that eating this overflowing pot of it, sprinkled with sea salt, won’t make me feel squeezed in the waist by my elastic waist pants. When my oldest daughter Eliza was a toddler, I …